September 10, 2011.... 10 years later

This is my 4th time trying to write this down and can't get it right but I need to say this. So please please excuse any wrong grammer, spelling, whatever else I say wrong. Trying to write from the heart is very hard at times for me and the pressure to get my thought across to all of you in the right way makes it harder.

Ten years ago today, I was homeschooling my two little girls, my oldest was in middle school and my sweet baby boy would be born in two months. On this day my little girls and I had my mom and grandma over for a special "GRANDMA" lunch. The girls had helped me set the table and make egg salad sandwiches for them. They were so cute that day only 4 and 3 dressed in dresses and their hair all done pretty. We had lunch and punch and homemade necklaces for them to give the grandmas. Next up was coloring/drawing on white paper which was my girls favorite thing to do. I'm thankful for this activity because my grandma who I've never seen draw/color before made the most prettiest picture like she'd been drawing all her life. I was so impressed and happy with this simple thing. I kept it thank goodness packed away in the attic now. So soon after this my husband called and my sister did to tell us about the news. We turned on the tv and watched in horror as the towers went down, I was sick to my stomach and worried about my oldest at school. The school had said I could come and get my daughter and bring her home and keep her safe with her family. The rest of the day/week went by in a blur as I watched and listened to what was going on in the world. So many tears I shed for these families wondering why this had to happen and hearing about the hero's on the plane who tried to help. The flag I taped inside my house and on my front window/ front door and my car to reminded us of this day and those families. I was worried for my soon to be new baby and for the kids I had already. When my husband went to work, I would panic and call him constantly asking him to calm me down or to come home early. If he was even a little late coming home I would start to panic and want to call the hospitals/cops. This went on for months and slowly I woke from this deep dark fog and begun to see the light again.

Not a day has gone by since then that I don't say a prayer for all those who we have lost on that day or since that day. I pray for those surviving families and babies who never got to meet their parents or family. I pray they are given strenght, comfort, love, hope to make it thru each day. I pray for my family and those around me. I proudly sing the National Anthem and am moved to tears each time I hear it (Renee sings this in her shower almost daily for 2years now) and I always look for flags when driving and can get tears just seeing a row of them standing tall and proud in my town. I thank the men/women in uniform when I see them and wish them luck. They have the hardest job there is and have to leave their loved ones to do it.

So today I just want to say to any of my readers who have lost a loved one from this nightmare please know that my thoughts are with you today and feel the hug and love I'm sending you. For those of you who like me didn't lose anyone but was effected by this day please feel my love and hug for you also. For those who have loved ones fighting for us THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO AND THANK YOUR SOLDIER FOR ME. MY LOVE AND PRAYERS AND HUGS ARE WITH YOU AS WELL.

Today I will be remembering this day and spending it with my family. So blessed to have them here and safe with me. Thankful for my husband who helped me get thru this ordeal and is still my rock and always will be.
Dawn